It is so disappointing when we don’t get what we want for Christmas. The list of requests contained so many interesting and wonderful gift ideas, and yet somehow, the opening of the packages on Christmas morning left much to be desired. We provided lots of different price points: from the affordable to the barely-affordable; online purchases and options from the big box stores down at the mall. Interesting, meaningful, useful and educational, whimsical and fun; they were all there. You wrote them out as carefully as possible and taped them to the side of the kitchen refrigerator.

What was inside those brightly wrapped gifts under the tree? The maroon knitted sweater from the relative we don’t really like; the potted plant we just know we are going to forget to water; something electronic that doesn’t do what we want. Christmas has turned out to be yet another disappointment because the hopes and expectations of the “Christmas list” are left unfulfilled. How does this happen? Can it be prevented?

The reason Christmas lists are a disappointment is because there is an inherent flaw associated with list-making. Lists are made with an underlying notion that what is placed on the list is the reason the list is created. Lists of tasks, appointments, deadlines and responsibilities govern our lives for 365 days a year. While not everyone is driven by the making and completing of lists, those who are driven by lists are in danger of settling in for another season of unfulfilled hopes. There maybe visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads, but they might have to settle for yet another maroon sweater.

The making of a Christmas-gift-wish-list has that same self-starter goal oriented undertone. Sadly, the Christmas list is the one list of the year which is completely beyond our control to fulfill. List makers are at the mercy of aunts, uncles, parents, siblings, friends and work colleagues.

Reducing disappointment at Christmas starts with lowered expectations. Reducing the load on the Christmas list will prepare the way for a greater sense of satisfaction. If it isn’t on the list, then there is no disappointment if isn’t found under the tree. While this sounds like a rather fatalistic approach, it is not a stand-alone solution. Coupling this first strategy with the second and third, provides a fool-proof way to make sure that disappointment is never on the list for this Christmas and the ones to come in the years ahead.

Secondly, a lowered expectation affords your friends and family greater room for heightened creativity. If your family and friends know that you are prepared to let them have more latitude in what they choose for you, there is added room for more joy and happiness during Christmas. Instead of an electronic gadget, if you received the gift of an evening of light jazz at the home of some friends, or an afternoon of strolling on your favourite street with family? If it comes from a store and is shrink wrapped, is it really better than drinking homemade iced tea with the ones you love? Finally, the most important strategy for successful and rewarding gift-getting at Christmas this year and every year is simply to redefine the purpose of the Christmas list. Try redefining the purpose of the Christmas list to give your family and friends permission to invest in the life of someone who really needs something this time of year. Help your friends and family to identify the items that are closest to your heart and part of your wish for this magical time of the year.

Take a moment and consider, “is there a place on earth, or a people group, or a cause in which I want to make a difference this year? Is it possible that the Christmas list is just the collection of celebratory tasks I can share with my friends on my behalf? Can they make a difference on my behalf and because they care about the things that I care about?”

What would happen if you told all your friends, “I need something that you cannot purchase in any store or mall this Christmas season?” If you asked for immunization for a child against common killer diseases in a developing country; or education for a girl rescued from human trafficking; or a pair of shoes for a child starting out in school in India, would they argue?

Would they say, "You need a blender."

True happiness at Christmas this year and every year begins with an intentional plan that includes: lower expectations for the gift list, heightened creativity and finally, redefining the content of a renewed list. Include a child in need from a developing country on your list this year and make a statement that is bigger than any other gift you could get. It is the full assurance of happiness at Christmas.

Online Catalogue of Wish-List Disappointment Breakers